McCain lies vs. McCain senility

by lestro

Those are the only options.

Last night in the debate, McCain returned to the topic of earmarks, delivering this:

Denouncing government spending, he tossed in an example. “You know, we spent $3 million to study the DNA of bears in Montana,” he said. “I don’t know if that was a criminal issue or a paternal issue,” he joked, but so rapidly that some viewers might have been confused, or wondered if the candidate was.

There are two problems with what he said. First, there’s this, from a Factcheck.org article last year:

Despite the fun McCain had ridiculing the bear project on the Senate floor, he didn’t actually try to remove it from the bill. He did introduce several amendments, including three to reduce funding for projects he considered wasteful or harmful, but none removing the grizzly bear project appropriations. And despite his criticisms, he voted in favor of the final bill.

The article also includes a discussion of the Bridge to Nowhere, noting McCain’s opposition, and his failure to show up to vote on whether to divert the Bridge to Nowhere money to New Orleans following Katrina.  The attempt to divert the money to Katrina aid failed.

Instead, Congress removed Gravina’s earmarks, tossing that money into Alaska’s general transportation pot to be used however the state chose. McCain wasn’t there for that vote, either.

In light of the furor over the “bridge to nowhere,” Alaska’s governor opted to use the money for other pursuits. The bridge was never built, but McCain has been using it as his prime pork example since 2005, even blaming it for the Minneapolis bridge collapse in August 2007. (He cited it as an example of a pet project that diverted money from necessary highway maintenance.)

Which brings us to his running mate. During the debate, McCain once again returned to a theme of experience – seeming to forget that his running mate is supposed to be qualified to take over should something happen to the president – but why would he mention the Bear DNA study when Sarah Palin made a similar request?

Palin, meanwhile, has requested $3.2 million to be spent in part researching the “genetics of harbor seals,” in one of the state’s many requests for federal funding of research into Alaska’s fauna.

So what else did Sarah Palin request your tax money for?

It is your duty to know your fart law

by loadz

This past week Jose Cruz, a 34-year-old West Virginia man was charged with battery against a Charleston Police officer for allegedly farting and fanning it towards the officer.

Although the battery charges against Cruz were dropped, the notion that flatulence is assault was an eye opener. Apparently I’ve been abusing my wife, kids, family and friends for years. I’m sorry. I will seek help. Or at least Beano.

In light of my newfound resolve to not hurt my fellow man by cutting cheese, I’ve decided to not only educate myself, but also provide a resource for my fellow farters. It is your duty as a flatulent person to know your fart laws.

Missouri’s public statutes consider the passing of gas a peace distrubance, prosecutible as a class B misdeameanor.

574.010. 1. A person commits the crime of peace disturbance if:
(1) He unreasonably and knowingly disturbs or alarms another person or persons by:
(a) Loud noise; or
(e) Creating a noxious and offensive odor;

The laws of nature vs. debate body language

by lestro

Was John McCain the alpha male or the low-ranking monkey?

It is generally agreed that John McCain did not look at or address Barack Obama at all during the first presidential debate. But different folks saw it in different ways.

Conservative columnist David Broder saw it like this:

That suggests an imbalance in the deference quotient between the younger man and the veteran senator — an impression reinforced by Obama’s frequent glances in McCain’s direction and McCain’s studied indifference to his rival.

Whether viewers caught the verbal and body-language signs that Obama seemed to accept McCain as the alpha male on the stage in Mississippi, I do not know.

A primatologist writing to Talking Points Memo saw it from a different angle:

I think people really are missing the point about McCain’s failure to look at Obama. McCain was afraid of Obama. It was really clear–look at how much McCain blinked in the first half hour. I study monkey behavior–low ranking monkeys don’t look at high ranking monkeys. In a physical, instinctive sense, Obama owned McCain tonight and I think the instant polling reflects that.

During the debate, I saw it as McCain’s inability to look Barack Obama in the eye.

But I figured that if I had been spreading such horrible lies about someone, I wouldn’t be able to look them in the eye either.

I suppose we’ll see it in the polls soon enough.

But where’s Sarah?

by lestro

Following Friday night’s debate, NBC welcomed via satellite Democratic Vice Presidential Candidate Joe Biden, to do a little post-debate spinning.

Following his segment, Anchor Brian Williams reported that NBC offered a similar spot to Sarah Palin, but the McCain campaign declined, offering Rudy Giuliani instead.  A similar thing happened on CNN, and all of the major networks, except for ABC, which would not interview Biden because Palin was ‘not available.’

Maybe that’s because in the debate, McCain returned to the experience theme and figures American voters aren’t stupid enough to buy that again when reminded of the selection of Palin as his running mate.

But no matter. So where was Sarah Palin while the focus of the political world was on Ole Miss?

Well, she started the night at a private pre-debate party at an Irish bar in Center City Philadelphia. (The party, by the way, closed the bar to customers on a night when the Philadelphia Phillies were battling for a playoff spot, beating the Washington Nationals 8-4 and lowering their magic number to 1 following a Mets loss to Florida.)

No word where she was for the actual debate, probably getting tutored by her Bush Administration teachers…

But what does that say?

Dave Letterman touched on this after McCain lied to him about having to go back to Washington to fix the economy, an issue he has admitted not knowing anything about (when McCain didn’t leave until the next day and did an interview with Katie Couric AT THE SAME TIME he was scheduled for Letterman). Letterman wondered where McCain’s “second string quarterback” was, pointing out that if your choice for second can’t step in when you have to run off, what good are they?