Book I: A blonde, a black guy and a Mexican walk into the Democratic primary…

The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”

by scut

First published Aug. 1, 2007

It’s an embarrassment of riches these days for those of us who find ourselves sitting on the left side of the isle. Not only has the Democratic primary race proved exciting and vibrant enough to attract not one, but two longshot, nutjob candidates (though you have to feel bad for Kucinich since ‘the crazy one’ was the closest thing he got to name recognition until Mike Gravel stepped onto the scene), it has provided for the most diverse palette of candidates this country has ever seen.So what’s a tree-hugging, bed-wetting, PC liberal supposed to do when it comes time to pull the lever (or fill in your Scantron or touch the screen or put your marble in a bag or whatever it is you do to vote in your particular corner of the country)?

Will white guilt goad you into the Obama camp?

Does a belief in feminism force you to vote for Hillary?

Should participation in the May Day immigration reform rallies lean you toward Richardson?

Or does fear of scaring off the general electorate with a minority candidate frighten you into voting for the white guy with the prettiest hair (again)?

Because let’s be honest, anyone with even an iota of progressive thought (you remember the progressives, right? they brought you the 40-hour work week, child labor laws, Medicare, Social Security, environmental protection, womens’ rights and, oh yeah, America…[though to be fair, they should also be blamed for prohibition, helmet and seat belt laws, trans fat and smoking bans and PETA…]) or even a half-open eye, can’t really justify voting for any of the rich, white, individual freedom-smothering warmongers on the Republican side (with the exception of Ron Paul, of course, who is more Libertarian than Republican when you get right down to it and has about the same shot of winning the nomination as I do).

So what are we to do?

First, the dems should vote Hillary off the island. she is certainly qualified and would probably be an excellent candidate, but her disapproval rating is way too high among average voters and a recent poll I saw said that more than 50 percent of voters will not vote for her under any circumstance.

That’s tough to rally back from.  Even for a Clinton.

Besides, for the past 20 years, the Bushes and Clintons have controlled the White House.  And while my nostalgia for all things 90s (ahh, flannel, how I have missed thee…) – as well as the facts – bear the Clinton years to be some of the best in history, but times have a’changed and I fear another Clinton presidency might be like another Who reunion; sure you can still sing along, but it just isn’t the same without Keith Moon back there beating on the drums like they owe him money.

What the people seem to want more than anything right now is CHANGE.  It’s time for a new way, a new voice and a new view. Baby boomers, your time is coming to an end.  Thanks for ruining the planet, making us fat and dooming the rest of us to an insurmountable mountain of debt, but step aside.

A full 70 percent of people think the country is headed in the wrong direction but before we heap all that scorn on the President (who undoubtedly deserves it and so much more), it’s important to note that the approval rating of the Democratic Congress we elected last fall (27 percent) is even lower than the President’s (31 percent).

That’s because nothing has changed.

When you look at it that way, really the best choice is probably Obama, whose stump speech echoes the idea that the battles of the 60s are still being fought and it’s time to elect leaders who have already moved past that.

But people worry that he is unelectable because he is Black.  Come on, do you really think anyone who is not going to vote for someone because of their skin color is really going to vote for ANY of the Democrats? Be reasonable. Racists don’t vote Democrat.

They vote for Buchanan.

Max Planck (considered one of the founders of quantum theory, who was at first laughed at and has since been proven to provide the basis for pretty much all of modern physics) said, “An important scientific innovation rarely makes its way by gradually winning over and converting its opponents … What does happen in that its opponents gradually die out and that the growing generation is familiarized with the idea from the beginning.”

The same is true of progressive ideals. Since I was a child, I was raised to believe that people were equal no matter their skin tone or sex, and I am sure most of you were too. It was never even a question. Our parents’ generation had to fight for those ideas since the preceding generation tended toward the whole white male superiority thing, but to me, there isn’t even a question. To most of our generation the idea itself is laughable.

And our generation is rising. We are the ones coming into our own. And if we truly want to move beyond the politics of the past, we need to stop electing folks whose political ideology and identity was formed in the tie-dye era.

That eliminates Hillary and Richardson (who is easily the best candidate in term of experience alone) and since I have already decided I will not vote for another damn southerner for president (I am tired of my leaders sounding like hayseeds. I don’t care how smart they may be, I just can’t take it anymore) that leaves just one guy.

Who happens to be the guy talking about change and hope and not taking any lobbyist or PAC money so far.  Funny how that works.

Now, this is not an endorsement of anyone (I am NOT a democrat and therefore will not vote in any of their primaries. The two-party system and its habit of suckling the corporate teat is destroying America.) as there is still a lot of road to cover between now and November 2008, but when it comes right down to it, the black guy is almost always the most PC choice.

Unless, of course, a half black/half native american lesbian in a wheelchair decides to get in the race, that is…

4 Responses to Book I: A blonde, a black guy and a Mexican walk into the Democratic primary…

  1. Kohl says:

    I emphatically agree with most of this article and rally what you are saying and have been for years, but I must ask, what is wrong with the liberal ideal from the tie-dye era? I love the tie-dye era, and I find the less liberal and timid democrats of today to be quite frustrating. When it comes to the primaries I didn’t support Obama either, John Edwards was my guy because he took public funding instead of private rich people gifts and had a good poverty plan. That being said, the part of this article I agree with the most is that the two-party system is flawed and extremely bad for us all.

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