welcome to the future

by twit

it turns out Gary Larson was right…

Any kid who grew up with a PlayStation will be able to come in here and learn this in seconds,” reports the Associated Press on April 28, 2008:

https://i2.wp.com/www.defense-update.com/images/guardium-M-guard.jpg NES TZIONA, Israel (AP) – Israel’s newest “soldier” can see at night, never nods off on sentry duty and can carry 660 pounds without complaining.

The Guardium, a remote-controlled, unmanned vehicle commissioned by the Israeli military and shown to The Associated Press on Monday, is among the first such machines to be ready for the battlefield. The army said it had not yet entered service, however, and declined further comment.

The four-wheeled vehicle is designed to replace human soldiers in dangerous roles, and sometimes tedious missions, cutting casualties.

Like the pilotless drones that have become a mainstay of air forces in Israel, the U.S. and elsewhere, the Guardium is operated from a command room far from the front line. It can carry cameras, night-vision equipment and sensors, as well as weapons like machine guns.

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the Earth’s rotation is a little off kilter

by twit

but the aurora borealis are nice...

I suppose the key is to get a hold on the sun:


postcards from the internets

by twit

have you seen this pig? if so, there’s a $10,000 reward for its safe return…


The spray-painted pig balloon was released during Roger Waters’ performance Sunday at the festival. The school-bus-size prop emerged during “Pigs,” a song from Pink Floyd’s 1977 album Animals.

“A pig got loose last night,” said Bill Fold, one of the festival’s producers, on Monday. “We really like him and want him back…. It’s a very emotional time for us.”

The pig was covered with political graffiti: “Don’t be led to the slaughter,” read one slogan. “Fear builds walls,” read another. A cartoon Uncle Sam painted on the pig held two bloody cleavers, and the porker’s belly read “Obama,” with a checked ballot box alongside, according to the Associated Press.

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Clinton rolls out improved operating system: Jobs v.3.0

by lestro

Despite the flaws and security holes in Inevitability v1.x, Experience v2.0, Fighter v3.3, Commander-in-chief v1.2 (a rush release that was hastily recalled when it was discovered to open the user to the nearly fatal error-inducing internet worm Bosnia Bullshit), the combo pack Experienced Fighter v2.4 and the most recent iteration Gun-Toting Shot Drinker v4.0, the Clinton Campaign has high hopes for the upcoming release of its newest opertaing system: Jobs v3.0.

So every speech she gave in Indiana on Friday and Saturday had the same topic sentence. “My campaign is about jobs, jobs, jobs and jobs,” she said, always to thunderous applause…

Since the race started, Mrs. Clinton has cycled through several political personas: the battle-tested White House veteran, the fighter, the girl — her word — tougher than any boy.

Now she is the Dream Boss: the one who will give you a job, provide health insurance, but also understand just how hard you work and the mundane details of what you do.

The new system is a throwback to the first Clinton system, which wowed the world with a fresh look and took the nation by storm 16 years ago with an effective advertising campaign that highlighted youth and hinged on the brilliantly catchy yet simple jingle “It’s the economy, stupid.”

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the penis-snatcher strikes again…

by twit

poor Bubba:

WASHINGTON – He’s just not the same Bubba.

Hillary Clinton’s husband is still brilliant, still passionate and still a magnificent campaigner. But people who have known him and observers who have watched Bill Clinton for decades say he’s lost at least half a step.


it is possible that Hillary “penis-snatcher” Clinton has something to do with it…

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cracka, please

by lestro

You ever get the feeling Senator Obama is getting a bit tired of listening to white people prattle on?

(image via yahoo)

I know I am

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how exactly does one signal “I’m being held at gunpoint”?

by twit

I’m reading about the latest contender for “Child Left Behind of the Year”

From the Associated Press: CLEVELAND — A carjacking suspect stopped during the crime to ask a television news crew for directions, police said.

… WOIO-TV newswoman Shannon O’Brien and photographer Eric Walls were doing a sidewalk report Monday on bank problems when the passenger in a car asked for directions to a bank. The driver signaled that he was being held at gunpoint, O’Brien told police.

The news crew called police and followed the car until officers caught up. Police Lt. Thomas Stacho said the suspect was carrying a loaded handgun.

and I’m curious about how someone silently signals that they are being held at gunpoint, because it seems like a useful thing to know…

by lestro

I can think of a few ways…

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