Condolences to Howard Stern

by twit, I am so sorry about Beth O. She is a beautiful woman inside and out and I hope you can truly be the man that she loves, before it is too late and you lose her forever.

I’ve heard that on your radio show you like to express shock about how Beth O doesn’t poop that often. You don’t understand it, you see her eat, but then mysteriously (at least to you) there’s not the usual consequence of eating. I’ve heard that you’ve claimed to have gone to a doctor who couldn’t find a medical cause for why Beth doesn’t poop like healthy people do.

Howard, this is so simple that even Paris Hilton can explain it:

Paris Hilton was so terrified guards would snap a cell-phone picture of her on the toilet that she didn’t eat or drink for three days…

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