Kid delivers LSD-laced cookies to cops. Actually, nevermind, the cops were just trippin’

by twit

When I first saw the article about the teenager accused of going to several police stations in Texas and delivering batches of cookies that smelled like pot but were actually laced with LSD, I figured it was another illustration for the “children left behind” files, the part of the chronicle where representatives from the upcoming generation are doing things that sound completely insane yet also so jaw-droppingly stupid.

But now it turns out that the allegations were actually the product of overactive imaginations of law enforcement officials (and their preliminary drug tests), and the charges have been dropped.  What we actually have here is an episode of the “romper room,”  featuring children of all ages left far, far behind:

On July 8, 2008, the Associated Press first reported:

FORT WORTH, Texas (AP) — A teenager is suspected of delivering baskets of drug-laced treats to about a dozen police departments in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, according to police who charged him Tuesday with LSD possession. At least three officers have gotten sick.

The 18-year-old man was arrested after taking cookies to the Lake Worth police station, said Brett McGuire, the suburb’s police chief. Officers there had been tipped off that someone was falsely claiming to deliver treats on behalf of Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

“Our officers took a good whiff and thought they smelled like marijuana,” McGuire said, adding that preliminary tests instead detected traces of LSD.

Christian Phillips was taken into custody and later charged with possession of the powerful hallucinogen, although the charge may be changed, McGuire said.

The suspect denied trying to contaminate the goodies or harm anyone and said one of his friends might have been smoking pot while Phillips was baking, McGuire said.

The suspect is not affiliated with MADD, the chief said.

which is what I had cut and pasted after I first read the story. Much of this clip has been scrubbed from the link where the article first appeared.

but then! On July 10, 2008, CBS in Dallas/Ft. Worth reports:

A teenager accused of delivering drug-laced cookies to a dozen police stations was the victim of overzealous officers who had very little evidence indicating drugs were inside the treats, his attorney said Thursday.

And lab results released late Thursday afternoon confirm that no drugs were present in any of the cookies.

L. Patrick Davis said initial tests found no traces of LSD inside the cookies taken to police in Lake Worth, where Christian V. Phillips remained jailed on $75,000 bond on a charge of tampering with a consumer product. In the wake of the test results, Lake Worth Police dropped the charges against Phillips.

see also Freud, hysteria. and surprise, surprise, it looks like the kid actually was working for MADD and did have a reason for delivering the cookies:

Davis said Phillips was delivering the cookies for Mothers Against Drunk Driving as part of community service work after he was arrested last year at a party in Watauga. MADD also has confirmed that he was doing work for the organization.

there seems to be an important lesson here about what not to do while baking cookies for cops…

Phillips told detectives his friend may have been smoking marijuana while he was baking

and perhaps this bit from the new and improved Associated Press article is instructive as well:

Officers found some drug paraphernalia in his car and confiscated the vehicle, McGuire said.

Now, departments across the region – most of them in small towns – are deciding whether to press charges and re-examining their policies on accepting home-baked goodies from usually well-meaning citizens.

“We believe we were targeted first, but he’s mad at a lot of agencies,” said Watauga Police Chief Rande Benjamin, where Phillips was arrested last summer for hitting an officer. “Ninety-nine out of 100 times, when people bring things in, you don’t have a problem. But I have told everyone to be more cautious.”

4 Responses to Kid delivers LSD-laced cookies to cops. Actually, nevermind, the cops were just trippin’

  1. YASMIN says:

    i love christian.
    and he’s not that dumb to do something that
    soo yeah you cops are annoying. :]

    i love you christian phillips!

  2. Mike says:

    I love how they say that the cops got sick. I can only assume that they meant tripping. Those cops aint never taken acid because theres no way to mistake being on it.

  3. Tim Buck says:

    Why not provide us with the informative update where it states that the cookies (there was NO assorted candy) were tested at a medical examiner’s lab & there were NEGATIVE, which means they contained no trace amounts of LSD nor marijuana!

  4. but I did provide that information:

    lab results released late Thursday afternoon confirm that no drugs were present in any of the cookies.

    I’m sorry that it wasn’t more clear. I’ll edit this post to highlight it, though.

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