Dennis Kucinich is a sexy, sexy man

by twit

Rowr:

An Ohio Democratic lawmaker and former presidential candidate has presented articles of impeachment against President George W. Bush to Congress.

Thirty-five articles were presented by Rep. Dennis Kucinich to the House of Representatives late Monday evening, airing live on C-SPAN.

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Fun with Mobile Phones

by twit

I realize neurosurgeons have their reasons for using earpieces or speakerphone instead of putting their mobile phones right next to their ears, but this is getting ridiculous. If placing four cel phones around a few popcorn kernels and calling them all at the same time actually causes the kernels to start popping, maybe those doctors have something of a point…

Videos via Weberence:

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Condolences to Howard Stern

by twit
https://i0.wp.com/www.longislandexchange.com/articles/art/HowardStern.gifHoward, I am so sorry about Beth O. She is a beautiful woman inside and out and I hope you can truly be the man that she loves, before it is too late and you lose her forever.

I’ve heard that on your radio show you like to express shock about how Beth O doesn’t poop that often. You don’t understand it, you see her eat, but then mysteriously (at least to you) there’s not the usual consequence of eating. I’ve heard that you’ve claimed to have gone to a doctor who couldn’t find a medical cause for why Beth doesn’t poop like healthy people do.

Howard, this is so simple that even Paris Hilton can explain it:

Paris Hilton was so terrified guards would snap a cell-phone picture of her on the toilet that she didn’t eat or drink for three days…

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um, i believe the answer is ‘shirley chisholm’

 by lestro

and that ain’t her. sorry ted.

i see where you’re going though…

welcome to the future

by twit

USA Today reports on June 6, 2008:

Body-scanning machines that show images of people underneath their clothing are being installed in 10 of the nation’s busiest airports in one of the biggest public uses of security devices that reveal intimate body parts.

https://i2.wp.com/www.drudgereport.com/bs.jpg

and according to the TSA:

“It’s the wave of the future,” said James Schear, the TSA security director at Baltimore/Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport, where two body scanners are in use at one checkpoint.

this is how it works:

The scanners bounce harmless “millimeter waves” off passengers who are selected to stand inside a portal with arms raised after clearing the metal detector.

A TSA screener in a nearby room views the black-and-white image and looks for objects on a screen that are shaded differently from the body.

Finding a suspicious object, a screener radios a colleague at the checkpoint to search the passenger.

and for entertainment purposes, the TSA explains what ‘protecting privacy’ means:

The TSA says it protects privacy by blurring passengers’ faces and deleting images right after viewing. Yet the images are detailed, clearly showing a person’s gender. “You can actually see the sweat on someone’s back,” Schear said.

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Gracious, she is not

by lestro

Even in defeat it is all about Hillary.

At a time when Democrats around the country should be celebrating and rallying around their now-official candidate, Hillary managed to suck all of the air out of the room and all the attention and headlines away from Obama with her non-concession speech Tuesday, in which she congratulated her opponent for “all they’ve accomplished” but never actually conceding defeat or officially pulling out of the race.

For the past two days, Hillary has had to have the spotlight on her, stealing all media attention with her “what does Hillary want” bit.

What does Hillary want? Attention. It’s that classic Clinton narcissism coming through in overt ways.

Word is now that she will continue to string this out for another few days before officially endorsing the party’s nominee on Saturday.

Her decision came after Democrats urged her Wednesday to leave the race and allow the party to coalesce around Mr. Obama…

Her decision came after a day of conversations with supporters on Capitol Hill about her future now that Mr. Obama had clinched the nomination.

Gotta love that, she has to be begged to drop out of a race that’s literally over.

We’re still talking about this, of course, because her speech Tuesday night was despicable and her refusal to express support for her opponent while continuing to try and campaign was another fun bit of doublespeak, especially this bit:

In the coming days, I’ll be consulting with supporters and party leaders to determine how to move forward with the best interests of our party and our country guiding my way.

Bullshit. You want to see best interests of the party? here’s what it looks like:

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China threatens to cancel the 2008 Olympics

by twit

From the Guardian on June 4, 2008:

Suspected terrorists, subversives and people with sexually transmitted diseases will not be allowed to enter China for the Olympic games, its organisers said yesterday.

If it was required that everyone arrive with their TB and measles vaccinations in order, it would make sense from a public health standpoint, particularly for a city as densely populated as Beijing. However, banning people based on an infection spread primarily through sexual contact is entirely different.

Questions remain about what exactly the Chinese government means by this new requirement. Do they mean all STDs? Symptomatic ones? Nontreatable ones?

The reason this will likely irreparably damage the 2008 Olympics is because statistically, a policy like this will cause significant numbers of athletes and spectators to be barred from entering the country.

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When the weak act strong…

by the squid

https://i0.wp.com/www.booksshouldbefree.com/images/big/45.jpgCongratulations to Senator Obama on sealing the Democratic nomination, he can finally exhale. However, he now needs to make the most important decision of his entire campaign – selecting a Vice President.

Sun Tzu implored strategists: When you are weak, act strong, when you are strong, act weak.

Senator Obama is now strong, but he has a very, very soft underbelly: experience. This is not said to undermine his historic win, as Obama has just beaten his most difficult rival.

However, it is important to remember what happened when Obama ran for his Senate seat in Illinois.

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First they came for the rappers…

by loadz

At first, it was hip hop, but it all finally makes sense, now that we know it is heavy metal hair, Jewish-American conspiracies and 2-Pac that cause homosexuality in Iranian youth.

via the Middle East Media Research Institute TV Monitor Project

I’m glad someone finally connected all this together.

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LOL Journalism

by twit

From the Washington Post‘s Dana Milbank on June 4, 2008, a detail from Hillary Clinton’s June 3, 2008 speech:

Terry McCauliffe, the campaign chairman, took the stage and read the full list of Clinton’s victories, from American Samoa to Massachusetts.

Introducing Clinton, he asked: “Are you ready for the next president of the United States?”

This brought laughter from the reporters in the back of the room, but Clinton induced the crowd to boo the “pundits and naysayers” who would have run her from the race.

The Clintons begin work for the GOP

by twit

Thank goodness Bill and Hillary have shot their credibility to shit, but this video is still a tripped out exploration of the kind of damage that the Clinton campaign has managed to accomplish.

Via McClatchy on June 4, 2008:

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The New York Times reports from the future

by twit

As far as I can tell, it is still Tuesday around here, and it is hardly Wednesday enough on the east coast to be referring to it as “early morning,” yet the NYT says this:

Mr. Obama and Mrs. Clinton talked early Wednesday morning by telephone. He congratulated her…

which is hilarious on its own, but still…

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Yes She Will… congratulate Obama on his victory

by twit

It’s time for a drink! A strong one!

Drunk at 10 am

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Double-talking jive, get the money motherfucker ’cause I got no more patience

by lestro

Well this is it, eh? June 3, the day of the last primaries. Obama has already won the delegate race for the nomination and we have finally reached the end of the road, right?

Very few people – including the Clinton Campaign – ever saw it going this far, but all things considered, it has been a very good primary season and when it comes down to the come down, Hillary may have actually helped Obama.

Thanks to her, he has already faced many of the bullshit character attacks, half-truths, whisper campaigns and the racism one would expect from a Republican candidate. Yet he has continued to gain popularity.

But while the campaign for the nomination has essentially been over since February, today has to be the end, right? After today she has no reason to keep going and will have to admit she lost, right?

Hell, even Bubba admitted it yesterday.

But, nope, not Hillary. Even after Obama secures the nomination tonight, Hillary will refuse to let go, clinging tenaciously to the possibility that the party Gray Beards will overturn the will of party voters and give her the nomination despite that fact that she is unlikable and unable to draw people to her campaign:

Hillary Rodham Clinton will acknowledge Tuesday night that Barack Obama has the delegates to secure the Democratic nomination, campaign sources told the Associated Press.

After the report, her campaign promptly issued a statement saying, “Senator Clinton will not concede the nomination this evening.”

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We Have a Nominee!

by twit

Huzzah!

Barack Obama effectively clinched the Democratic presidential nomination Tuesday, based on an Associated Press tally of convention delegates

https://i2.wp.com/www.grucci.com/Liberty2.jpeg

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morning cartoons

by twit

Koons 2

via Delicious Ghost

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Kurt Cobain’s ashes have escaped to a better place…

by twit

Courtney, had I known you were keeping Kurt’s ashes in a pink teddy bear bag, I would have considered it a duty to get them away from you … which feels like a terrible thing to say, because the twit doesn’t like to make light of anyone’s grief. But dammit, Courtney, a pink teddy bear bag?

https://i1.wp.com/www.amazingballoons.co.uk/acatalog/pinkdogbagpurse.jpg

Via The Guardian on June 2, 2008:

Love believes a former friend is responsible for swiping Kurt’s remains, which were stored in a pink bear-shaped handbag and hidden in a wardrobe at her Hollywood home.

She now claims to be suicidal as a result of the theft:

“I can’t believe anyone would take Kurt’s ashes from me.

I find it disgusting and right now I’m suicidal. If I don’t get them back I don’t know what I’ll do.”

(example image via amazing balloons)

Although in an attempt to be more fair, it is true that as far as security precautions go, it is just about the last place one might think to look…

Breaking News: Bubba concedes the nomination

by twit

wait, what? perhaps file it under “things we already knew“…

Former president Bill Clinton dropped a hint Monday that the end might be nigh for his wife Hillary’s dogged campaign for the Democratic White House nomination, according to reports.

“I want to say also that this may be the last day I’m ever involved in a campaign of this kind,” the former president told Clinton supporters in South Dakota, ABC and NBC reported on their news websites.

“I thought I was out of politics, till Hillary decided to run. But it has been one of the greatest honors of my life to go around and campaign for her for president,” he added at the start of his stump speech.

in the twit’s optimistic opinion, all these past-tense references to the 2008 Clinton campaign call for a stiff drink to properly appreciate the magnitude of this moment…

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Bubba Gone Wild

by twit

A magazine that managed to make Angelina Jolie look like a porn star has written a long and sexified analysis of Bill Clinton. Yesterday, reports started up about Bubba’s reaction to the piece:

The Office of President Bill Clinton responded with fury Sunday to a Vanity Fair article that attacks the former president and suggests he is out of control personally and consumed by “cavernous narcissism.”

and reporters started trudging through the boring mass of fluff to find the tidbits of what we already knew:

More devastating is Purdum’s claim that about 18 months ago, a former Clinton aide tried an intervention with the former president because he was hearing so many complaints about inappropriate behavior.

According to the article, the aide believed “Clinton was apparently seeing a lot of women on the road.”

Today, the Clintons angrily continue to deny that Bill Clinton is an angry kind of guy:

The Clinton camp responded today to Vanity Fair’s long article on Bill with its own 2,476-word memo, which includes attacks on the magazine’s “penchant for libel,” on editor Graydon Carter, and on writer Todd Purdum and his wife, former Clinton aide Dee Dee Myers.

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Praise Zul

by loadz

I was wondering the other day how cell phones worked. Didn’t realize that they all had demons inside of them that could be released when put in a microwave.

If I didn’t live on microwaved burritos I’d free the cell phone demon in my phone.

I think Hillary may be hitting the sauce

by lestro

Hillary’s been out of this thing for a while now, but they continue forth as if it is neck and neck and she’s got a shot at this thing. However, the complete disconnect may be explained by this photo published recently by the New York Times.

Ah, sweet bourbon.

It also explains recent statements by Harold Ickes at the DNC’s rules committee meeting this past weekend. During his rant on why all the votes from an unfair election – an election that broke the rules he helped write – should count now that his candidate’s campaign has stalled, Ickes said he didn’t believe the committee had the “gall and chutzpah to substitute our judgment for 600,000 voters.”

Of course, for his candidate to win, he has to convince the superdelegates to do exactly that: use their judgement to subvert the will of party voters around the country and choose his candidate as the standard bearer for the establishment.

It would be great to be Ickes’ kids. Imagine, being able to break rules and change your story at will with no repercussions.

But Ickes also did a little foreshadowing on the next step in the Clinton’s campaign, saying – as supporters chanted “Denver! Denver!” like rowdy pledges at a frat party – the candidate reserved her right to take this to the credentials committee.

I am not sure what the credentials committee is or what they do, but this is their move: keep their flailing campaign alive by taking it from committee to committee, arguing every little point and continuing to kneecap the party candidate while raising the specter of assassination all for her own personal glory.

She must be drunk.

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whatever could it be?

by twit

What is the latest issue causing people to rally in the streets?

What affront to civil liberty is getting them knocked out by water cannons and other fun forms of crowd control?

People crouching to hide from a water cannon jet 1/6/08

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Stop me if you’ve heard this – Condi, KISS, Bono and ZZ Top walk into a bar

by loadz

United States Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice recently took time off from her busy schedule in Stockholm, Sweden to meet and chat with member of KISS, according to the AFP.

Simmons and the other band members — Paul Stanley, Eric Singer and Tommy Thayer — autographed for her a glossy concert photograph of them on stage and gave band T-shirts to Rice’s aides.

Rice said she had never seen KISS perform but she had been to four rock concerts in her life.

Rice took a second to pose for pics with the unmasked members of KISS, including this one where Gene Simmons is sizing Condi up for addition to his extensive collection of sexual conquests.

It’s not the first time Condi has been photographed hobnobbing with rock royalty. Read more of this post