Bubba Gone Wild

by twit

A magazine that managed to make Angelina Jolie look like a porn star has written a long and sexified analysis of Bill Clinton. Yesterday, reports started up about Bubba’s reaction to the piece:

The Office of President Bill Clinton responded with fury Sunday to a Vanity Fair article that attacks the former president and suggests he is out of control personally and consumed by “cavernous narcissism.”

and reporters started trudging through the boring mass of fluff to find the tidbits of what we already knew:

More devastating is Purdum’s claim that about 18 months ago, a former Clinton aide tried an intervention with the former president because he was hearing so many complaints about inappropriate behavior.

According to the article, the aide believed “Clinton was apparently seeing a lot of women on the road.”

Today, the Clintons angrily continue to deny that Bill Clinton is an angry kind of guy:

The Clinton camp responded today to Vanity Fair’s long article on Bill with its own 2,476-word memo, which includes attacks on the magazine’s “penchant for libel,” on editor Graydon Carter, and on writer Todd Purdum and his wife, former Clinton aide Dee Dee Myers.

And according to the response memo, they want to make it clear that Bubba’s cringe-worthy narcissism is more than just the stuff of speculation by bland magazine articles:

Most revealing is one simple fact: President Clinton has helped save the lives of more than 1,300,000 people in his post-presidency, and Vanity Fair couldn’t find time to talk to even one of them for comment.

The twit got bored by the second page of the Vanity Fair article, but if Bubba wants to have such a tantrum about it, it sounds like it may be worth a closer look…

Although, in order to read the article, one must be prepared to find out what a “butt boy” is in the world of political celebrities:

[Doug] Band, 35, joined the White House as an intern in the counsel’s office in 1995 and by the end of the administration was the president’s personal aide, or “butt boy,” the person responsible for making sure the president wakes up on time in the morning and stays on schedule during the day, and for peering around the corner of the president’s existence 24-7, at home and on the road, to make sure he has everything he needs (lunch, tie, speech, hat, golf clubs, a handy bathroom) and avoids everything unnecessary, unwanted, and undesirable (you get the drift).

Indeed, we get the drift…

and for those still refusing to wade into the actual article, Jezebel offers an annotated round-up of highlights, including this:

He’s stirred up side-fuckery rumors with everyone from Canadian politico Belinda Stronach to Gina Gershon to some lady in Chappaqua to another lady at the Aspen Institute and a “ravishing entourage in a New York elevator” about whom a former Clinton aide said a “business leader” said upon seeing them, “I don’t know what the guy was doing, but it was so clear that it was just no good.”

and this:

According to Andrew Morton’s Monica’s Story, Lewinsky was about to deliver her Christmas gifts to Bill when she learned Eleanor Mondale, Clinton’s jogging partner on whom he had a known crush, had been with him at the White House.

“Do you think I would be stupid enough to go running with someone I was foolin’ with?,” Clinton later asked Lewinsky, to which she said, “Do you want me to answer that?”

Bubba, just remember that even though you’ve now apparently turned into a bitter and grumpy kind of guy, it is your eternally funny sense of humor that makes you the unforgettable historical figure that will enliven high school social studies classes for generations to come, perhaps as they ponder how this country could have possibly ended up so ready to elect your disastrous successor…

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