Tom Cruise should just pony up $50 to the Kiwi

by loadz

Sure, we may not have a cruise ship (yet) but $50 bucks for salvation sure seems like a bargain compared to the green you have to shell out to complete the highest level of Scientology – Operating Thetan VIII.

Apparently the rigors of the training are so grueling that the church purchased a cruise ship, The Fairwinds, to ply the seven seas while John Travolta, Cruise and the other Hubbtards achieve enlightenment (during breaks from the buffet I presume. I mean have you seen Travolta lately? It’s a good thing he flies multi-engine plane nowadays because there is no way you’re wedging his large ass into a Lear Jet)

Freewinds

Apparently the course will run you about $10,000. (That’s about $9,950 more than the Kiwi for the math impaired) Hard to justify, until you factor in that Captain L. Ron has also thrown in transportation to the next plane of existence on the Mesothelioma Express, courtesy of the scads of fryable blue asbestos in the ship.

Not to worry though. Hubbard and Scientology have yet to acknowledge any link between cancer and death:

“Since Hubbard had been in the US Navy and had then founded the Sea Org and had run a fleet of ships, he knew everything about ships.

If asbestos was dangerous, he would have written this somewhere. Also Hubbard knew everything about cancer. He had written that cancer was caused by the mind and specifically second dynamic aberration (problems with relationships). I was told that people only get sick if they go into “agreement” with being sick.

As the ship was going to be filled with “operating thetans” doing the highest level in Scientology (OT 8) nothing was going to make them sick. I was being a “wog” (non-scientologist) worrying about a little thing like asbestos.”

- Lawrence Woodcraft, Freewinds Ship’s Architect in a sworn affidavit.

Long Live The Kiwi.

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