yeah, can I get a grande torturecinno, extra foam?

by lestro

So as if it wasn’t enough last week for the Attorney General to admit to Congress that the Bush Administration no longer even pretends to obey the Geneva Convention or the US Constitution due to the use of the technique known as waterboarding (regarded as torture pretty much everywhere in the world except the White House), today we get absolute and definite proof of the United States using torture:

The admissions made by the men — who were given food whenever they were hungry as well as Starbucks coffee at the U.S. prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba — played a key role in the government’s decision to proceed with the prosecutions, military and law enforcement officials said.

Starbucks?! Good god, I’ll talk! Just stop burning your coffee! The reason their lattes are so popular is because the only way their coffee is drinkable is to cut half of it with milk.

Besides, soon after Mukasey’s shuck and jive in front of Congress, the FBI was talking about how they didn’t use any torture at all when they had Saddam Hussein, a guy the President called a “homicidal dictator,” and needed some info:

[FBI Agent George] Piro says no coercive interrogation techniques, like sleep deprivation, heat, cold, loud noises, or water boarding were ever used. “It’s against FBI policy, first. And wouldn’t have really benefited us with someone like Saddam,” Piro says.

They also celebrated his birthday and gave him a little plot of land in which to garden and note, interestingly enough: “Piro and Saddam took walks in the tiny garden and what flowed was a series of revelations.”

So maybe if we want to get some more information out of the folks at Gitmo we should considering torturing neither them, nor their palettes. After all, they’ll get more info with honey than with vinegar…

One Response to yeah, can I get a grande torturecinno, extra foam?

  1. squishmael says:

    I, for one, like my Starbucks like I like my women – bold and black (and henceforth disagree with your statement).

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