HipHop bad

by loadz

Apparently Iran has made hip hop illegal.

In a press statement released by the Iranian Government, President Mahmoud Ahmaad…Amhadi…Ahmadine…um, the guy in the Member’s Only jacket, said “Ain’t no homosexuals or hip hop up in Iran’s hizzy. Word.”

Iranian President Mahmoud Oddjacket, left, shows some love for Hezbollah leader Hassan Nasrallah. In the pecking order of Middle Eastern homosexual politics Nasrallah is referred to as a “bottom,” while President Windbreaker is a “sugar daddy.”

We may not be able to export freedom, but damn it, after watching a few Young Jeezy vids, they will have consumerism down pat. Watch for a surge in Cristal and bling sales in Tehran.

10 Responses to HipHop bad

  1. lestro says:

    in other news, Matisyahu’s appearance on Tehran Today! has been canceled…

  2. humboldtsquid says:

    It ain’t gay for two oily men to wrestle naked in an undisclosed motel room at the outskirts of a forgotten town in a forgotten land. It was is just, “Two men sharing some time together. No women allowed!”

  3. loadz says:

    Male bonding, whether naked or not, is exempt from gayness, as is wrestling and loving John Wayne. And I mean LOVING JOHN WAYNE.

  4. twitterpaters says:

    offensive as I find this post, I figure I might as well still mention that the Iranian president has no real power and is a figurehead. The guy you refer to as a “bottom” seems more like the one with real power, due to the fact that political power in Iran is vested in religious leaders. I have always found it interesting how quick we are, as Americans in general, to assume that just because someone is called a “President” that they have any real authority.

    The point about the power of the Iranian consumer is interesting. We worship at the altar of commerce over here, it will be interesting to see if that kind of ‘religion’ creates a real challenge to the authority and power of the leadership in Iran. Given the demographics in Iran, with such a large part of the population being so young, I think the smart money predicts a bloody red dawn.

    Lest we forget what happens to gay people in Iran. When we are talking about a much larger part of the population (young people in general), especially since they have no contemporaneous memory of the wars and politics that shaped the region before they were born, it seems like a scenario where the current leaders have the guns, but the next generation has the numbers. So while Iran may be able to persecute, kill and maim people based on sexual orientation, the question of whether this kind of control can be exerted over a much larger and more visible segment of the population remains to be seen.

  5. twitterpaters says:

    update/clarification: when i wrote that comment, there wasn’t anything i possibly could have read that wouldn’t have offended me at the moment. perhaps consider it a snark on tone, or an expression of what can happen to a chick’s thought processes when she stumbles into the internet version of a locker room, or an exercise in pots calling kettles black, take your pick. for now, until there is evidence to the contrary, I blame the full moon.

  6. DeaconLoadz says:

    Twit, I’m a little fuzzy on what exactly offended you. Was it the gay jokes or the references to the poor fashion sense of the prez. Cause if it struck a little close to home, I understand, we all have our fashion mistakes hidden in our closet…hmm…closet…I think there’s a gay joke here, but I’ll let it slide.
    Obviously the point of the whole post, beside using humor to shine a light on oppression in the world, was the last little graph.
    Much like the fall of the Soviet bloc, the real key to freedom in Iran is going to be consumerism.
    Repressive regimes tend to cover the basic needs of the citizens, in terms of food, housing, medical care, etc. Such was the case in East Germany and such is the case in Iran.
    However, once these people get a glimpse of the luxuries that other countries enjoy they want theirs.
    Once East Germans were allowed to visit the Berlin Wal-Mart stores in 1989, there was simply on going back and soon the Communist regime was forced to acknowledge defeat.
    The same will happen in Iran.
    First, a group of rebels, in Kangol hats and Adidas wear spitting Farsi rhymes , will begin to spread the word through the underground.
    Then other’s will see their fly new threads. Boom, soon before you know it, Tehren Wal-Mart.
    Watch and see.
    Obviously, this is an over-simplification.
    Also, couple of clarifications.
    The man pictured with President Oddjacket is the head of Hezbollah, a military/political organization based in Lebanon and funded by Iran.
    I think you are confusing him with Ayatollah Khameni, the supreme leader of Iran, a religious figure.
    Understandable, because swarthy mid-eastern guys all look alike when they wear turbans.
    Since they are funded by the Revolutionary Guard, he is definitely the bottom.
    And President Oddjacket is obviously not gay, because much like hip-hop, it doesn’t officially exist in Iran.

  7. twitterpaters says:

    what has been happening in Gaza seems like an extreme example of your point about consumerism, except whittled down to basic survival.

    “In Gaza, a rush for food, TVs and sheep”

    I do think the consumerism issue is a brilliant point to explore and something that doesn’t get a lot of attention.

    but now you’re making me laugh. thanks for the follow up.

    here’s a clip from a recent story about iran:

    “Iranian police are investigating how pictures purportedly taken by a mobile phone and showing naked women were displayed on an electronic billboard in the city of Karaj near Tehran, reported the AFP citing the ISNA. Several un-named individuals have been arrested after the pornographic images were subsequently distributed via the Internet and their office has been sealed off. It is not known what company they work for.”

    and “Mullahs Get Punked” talking about the switch of the iranian billboard to pix of naked ladies, but unfortunately, the video no longer works.

  8. deaconloadz says:

    Found your vid Twit.

    Free your libido and your ass will follow. Or is it the other way around?

  9. twitterpaters says:

    I don’t know. but I think the matter warrants further investigation.

    and one day, hopefully in the not-too-distant future we are going to figure out how to embed pix and video into the comments, but for now, here is the link to that video. I think it is a good example of what you have been talking about.

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