understatement of the day

by twit

From the New York Times on January 22, 2008:

Administration officials had long maintained that some terrorism suspects could be properly handled only with military detention and trials by military commissions, not in the civilian justice system. But the verdict against Mr. Padilla seemed to undercut the administration’s insistence and, in the eyes of critics of the administration’s approach, proved that the criminal justice system should have handled the case in the first place.

What seems to have happened, to put it more bluntly, is that the judge told the government things like “the worse you treat somebody, the quicker I’ll let them go” and “you need to show more evidence than this if you want to incarcerate someone for life.”

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by lestro

Due to poor ad revenue, critical ennui, a total lack of coherent plot and disappointingly low ratings, the Republican Party has officially canceled The Fred Thompson Presidential Campaign. We thank all our loyal viewers and remind fans they can catch re-runs of both Presidential Campaign and Fred Thompson: Special Victims Unit on A&E ad nauseum.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Republican Primary circus.

HipHop bad

by loadz

Apparently Iran has made hip hop illegal.

In a press statement released by the Iranian Government, President Mahmoud Ahmaad…Amhadi…Ahmadine…um, the guy in the Member’s Only jacket, said “Ain’t no homosexuals or hip hop up in Iran’s hizzy. Word.”

Iranian President Mahmoud Oddjacket, left, shows some love for Hezbollah leader Hassan Nasrallah. In the pecking order of Middle Eastern homosexual politics Nasrallah is referred to as a “bottom,” while President Windbreaker is a “sugar daddy.”

We may not be able to export freedom, but damn it, after watching a few Young Jeezy vids, they will have consumerism down pat. Watch for a surge in Cristal and bling sales in Tehran.