children left behind

by twit

Mama you done stabbed me.

via Slog December 2007:

A Spartanburg mother is accused of stabbing her son several times Christmas morning, but her son is the person facing charges. City police say it appears the mother, 45-year-old Tammy Jones, stabbed her son because he urinated on her while she slept in her bed. 21-year-old Michael Anthony Carson, nicknamed Pooh Bear, is charged with aggravated assault and battery. Police arrested him at his mother’s home on Wednesday.

City police say Jones stabbed her son six times with a butcher knife. He suffered wounds to his shoulder, calf, and chest. Witnesses in the house heard Jones say “why did you pee on me Pooh Bear?” A few moments later, the witness heard the son say “Mama you done stabbed me.”

filed under “children left far, far behind in a galaxy far, far away” 12.29.07

unseating the previous champion:

“The URL is to a PDF of the front page of the 12/14/2007 Lewiston Tribune (Idaho). Above the fold appeared a photograph of Michael Millhouse, painting a sign on the window of a business. But below the fold, he appeared again, in a still taken from a convenience store where a wallet containing $600 was lifted. Due to his size, and the fact that he was wearing the same clothes, he was easily identified and caught.”

filed under “child left farthest behind” 12.21.07

and maintaining epic prominence despite a serious recent challenge:

Jeremy Clarkson, a presenter for Top Gear on British TV, wrote a newspaper editorial that accused privacy activists of being hysterical over giant data-leaks (such as the British government repeatedly losing CDs bearing the financial details for 25 million households). To prove that identity theft wasn’t a big deal, he included his bank account details in the article.

Whereupon someone promptly began making fraudulent withdrawals from his account.

filed under “ahahahahahaha, sigh” 1.08.08

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One Response to children left behind

  1. graceMark says:

    This is amazing – the guy who stole the wallet and painted the window. I’m now teaching the kids who will end up in a similar article that you will write several years from now.

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