It’s called evolution

by twit

It turns out that fish have been using “vocalization” for around 400 million years, similar to how birds and frogs use sounds to communicate. The BBC reports on July 17, 2008:

Professor Bass told BBC News: “We identified where this pattern generator developed in the brains of these fishes, and then we looked at where it was in frogs, birds and primates.”

The team discovered that the neural networks for vocalization were all situated in the same region.

“We stood back and said: ‘Oh my god, this is all in the same place’.

“It was astonishing how similar it was.”

Actually, it would be astonishing if it was in a completely different part of the brain…

graffiti for butterflies

by twit

neat: it tells them where to stop for food on their migrations.

via kottke

Bush is a space alien from a stupid planet

by twit

Finally, it all makes sense now:

Via the Star-Telegram on July 16, 2008:

Federal Aviation Administration radar appears to confirm the presence of unidentified aircraft on Jan. 8 over the Stephenville-Dublin area, with at least one appearing to head toward President Bush’s Crawford Ranch, the same night that dozens of people reported seeing UFOs, according to a report released Thursday by a national group that studies reports of unidentified flying objects.

Beware the little green men!

postcards from the internets

by twit

Banksy! Perhaps his identity has been revealed? The twit’s not convinced, but this:

Asked by the paper whether Gunningham was Banksy, he replied: “Well, he wasn’t then”.

Gunningham’s father Peter said he did not recognise the person in the photograph, while his mother Pamela maintained she had never even had a son.

does seem like something that a mother of an artist would say…

They are the experts: Just because it’s a stone thrown in a glass house doesn’t mean it’s not true:

Iranian Foreign Ministry spokesman Mohammad Ali Hosseini said: “McCain’s crude remark on the indiscriminate killing of the Iranian nation not only testifies to his disturbed state of mind, but also to his warmongering approach to foreign policy.”

The Ron Paul Army: Laugh if you must, but these folks may swing the election away from McCain and the Hillary Avengers:

You go to the voting booth with the Constitution you’ve got…

by lestro

So we all know one of the candidates wasn’t born in the US, right?

It’s true, sometimes the email chains are real! John McCain was not born in the United States.

McCain’s dad was a Navy man (both McCain’s father and grandfather were admirals) and McCain was born in the Panama Canal Zone while his father was stationed there in 1936.

This is only interesting because the US Constitution specifically states that the President must be a natural born citizen. It’s one of three requirements. The others, of course, are a minimum age of 35 and having lived in the US for 14 years. McCain easily meets the last two.

However, his citizenship is unquestioned, his natural born status is something that has been discussed, to the point that earlier this year the House and Senate both passed a bill stating his eligibility to run for President, based on the idea that the founders wouldn’t want to deny the Presidency to someone because their parents were in the military. Hard to disagree with.

But according to a new, in-depth look at the issue, it’s not enough:

The analysis, by Prof. Gabriel J. Chin, focused on a 1937 law that has been largely overlooked in the debate over Mr. McCain’s eligibility to be president.

The law conferred citizenship on children of American parents born in the Canal Zone after 1904, and it made John McCain a citizen just before his first birthday. But the law came too late, Professor Chin argued, to make Mr. McCain a natural-born citizen.

Interesting. But surely, the Canal Zone, the 10-mile strip of land that surrounds the Panama Canal, which was controlled by the US from 1903 to 1979 counts as the US, right? I mean, it was US territory at the time, right?

A series of early-20th-century decisions known as the Insular Cases, he wrote, ruled that unincorporated territories acquired by the United States were not part of the nation for constitutional purposes. The Insular Cases did not directly address the Canal Zone. But the zone was generally considered an unincorporated territory before it was returned to Panama in 1999, and some people born in the Canal Zone when it was under American jurisdiction have been deported from the United States or convicted of being here illegally.

Oh come on, surely the people of the time considered it part of the States, right?

But will South Park apologize?

by lestro

Seems that the Ramseys officially did not kill their daughter:

Prosecutors say new DNA tests have cleared JonBenet Ramsey’s family in the 1996 killing of the 6-year-old beauty queen.

Boulder County District Attorney Mary Lacy said Wednesday the tests point to an “unexplained third party.”

She says prosecutors don’t consider any member of the Ramsey family to be a suspect.

Congratulations to the Ramseys. It doesn’t change the fact that their little girl is gone, but at least it clears their names.

So while that  question is settled, one has to wonder whether or not the South Park guys will apologize for their absolutely brilliant commentary on the rash of high profile seemingly guilty people getting away, literally, with murder.

Dow AgroSciences suggests we avoid eating the deformed food

by twit

From the Guardian on June 29, 2008:

The Dow website says: ‘As a general rule, we suggest damaged produce (however this is caused) should not be consumed.’

This is an example photo of a deformed tomato plant, via the Guardian:

Example of unhealthy tomato leaves curling inwards, affected by contaminated manure. Photograph: Katherine Rose

Dow AgroSciences would prefer that we avoid eating deformed food, especially if their pesticide got into the manure used to fertilize the garden…

The Royal Horticultural Society (RHS) has been inundated with calls from concerned gardeners who have seen potatoes, beans, peas, carrots and salad vegetables wither or become grossly deformed.

The society admitted that it had no idea of the extent of the problem, but said it appeared ’significant’.

morning cartoons

by twit

more dramatic proof of the impending fall of civilization:

How To Fend Off Attacking Birds

by twit

Hooray for the BBC for telling us what to do:

“angry blackbirds could be deterred by a direct stare.”

really? you try that one out and let me know how it goes…

“More radical suggestions aimed at fending off the swooping attackers have included mimicking the sound of a barking dog or even imitating a larger bird.”

sounds like a plan.

“Spread your arms and advance on him,” one e-mail advisory suggested. “His pattern recognition will kick in making you look like a dangerous predator, such as a hawk.”

it’s all viral marketing, isn’t it…

by twit

“Viral marketing” videos are out and about everywhere these days, including the ones that don’t make it clear what they’re up to from the start, such as the “crazy office guy” and “popcorn mobile phone” videos.

So the twit does wonder what they are selling with “crazy girl on a train,” now remixed by Ludrachrist:

via Delicious Ghost

afternoon cartoons

by twit

Remember that game Space Invaders? Yeah, the twit used to like it, too. But now McCain’s campaign website has a little game we can play, called “Pork Invaders,” where you can deploy “veto power” to kill lines and lines of cute little pigs.

On a lighter note, this video might be called “Fun with censor bars” and it features “naked people dancing around,” of course:

via streetbonersandtvcarnage.com via Jezebel

John McCain craps his pants

by twit

the twit can’t come up with any other explanation for the particular way John McCain busts out these particular smiles. For example, click here to see a video via Raw Story - at about 00:15, McCain breaks into this truly relieved yet very very proud grin, just like one might expect a baby would after taking a really big dump.

Another example is right at the beginning of this video:

that’s a grin that says “I’m a Big Boy!”

and now you too can enjoy the image of McCain crapping his pants every time he whips that smile out.

I think it’s pronounced ringgristic makeover

by lestro

The Chinese government is apparently officially giving the food english names so the tourists and athletes have a better idea of what they are getting into during the Olympics:

Other favorites have also received a linguistic makeover.

“Bean curd made by a pock-marked woman,” as the Beijing Youth Daily rendered the spicy Sichuanese dish, is now “Mapo tofu.” And “chicken without sexual life” becomes mere “steamed pullet.”

According to one widely repeated story, the Chinese name of “kung pao chicken” comes from the name of an imperial official who was fed the dish during an inspection tour.

yeah, it says you’re a fucking sellout

by lestro

So the emo/punk/rock band Alkaline Trio has officially sold out to the point where I don’t think I will ever be able to hear one of their old songs without spitting.

Because not enough people think “dark punk” when they think of overpriced athletic shoes, the Trio’s teamed with Nike for to design a Trio-branded athletic shoe.

Makes me want to fucking vomit.

It’s one thing to license a song to a commercial to try and find a new audience. I may not like it, but I understand why bands do it. And in today’s day and age, where art, design and commercialism all swim in the same lane at the pool, it’s just another delivery system.

But teaming with motherfucking Nike? You have to be kidding me.

“Seeing the swoosh and our logo on one product is unbelievable,” singer/guitarist Matt Skiba said in a statement. “The shoe looks amazing and provides some insight into who we are.“

Classics of Western Literature in the 21st Century

by Loadz

Who knew that a random spam e-mail could be so beautiful…

Although it’s not much for rhyming, the imagery it invokes is a weird and wonderful thing. I call it “Cassette of Inadequacy” and have carefully transcribed it here:

It debris? or was.

Is occasional is exponential.

Or readily The brevet.

Which in rive. Or do confluence.

But in bottleneck philosopher highly.

happen a lullaby.

Is distal my sensible. But exhibitor?

Are on neck whites.

Have flannel Be radar.

I buffalo.

afternoon cartoons

by twit

settle down: it’s just a kiwi, yeesh.

the twit reads the news

by twit

whoops: Those levees they had thought would hold the Des Moines river back have breached. Total evacuation has been ordered and is well underway in affected areas due to the coordinated efforts of the earlier voluntary evacuations and the police going door-to-door before dawn to wake and assist the people still there. The BBC has video from Cedar Rapids.

damn: Tim Russert is dead. Long live Tim Russert:

What we hope to do in this campaign is recognize there are big differences on big issues between John McCain and Barack Obama – the war in Iraq, Iran, Social Security, taxes. You don’t need to get into this other stuff. If it does surface, then I think the mainstream media has an obligation not to just instinctively put it out there without vetting it.

wow: Protests in Tibet continue, including a report about a monk using a sword to defend himself from officials attempting his arrest and then managing to escape into the mountains before 200 Chinese officers arrived.

welcome to the future

by twit

via the BBC:

Sound waves are channelled around an object by sonic crystals

Father’s Day Cartoon

by twit

From Cousino’s Firearms, a video featuring the best dad in the whole world, as well as delightful displays of automatic weaponry, many, many things exploding, those laser tracer bullets and other jaw-dropping displays of American firepower.

The video does start quite loudly, so you may want to be ready to turn down the volume…

via Wonkette

McCain vs. The Internet

by twit

It was fun while it lasted, although the party is now officially over. Last night, Wonkette noticed that the website selling McCain’s campaign gear allowed people to write reviews of the products. The twit then endured laughter so painful she could hardly work her computer, but she did manage to preserve some highlights for posterity.

For example, there are pins for sale:

eom	June 11, 2008
Reviewer: George Orwell from Washington, DC United States

Irony is dead.

Fun with Mobile Phones

by twit

I realize neurosurgeons have their reasons for using earpieces or speakerphone instead of putting their mobile phones right next to their ears, but this is getting ridiculous. If placing four cel phones around a few popcorn kernels and calling them all at the same time actually causes the kernels to start popping, maybe those doctors have something of a point…

Videos via Weberence:

Condolences to Howard Stern

by twit
Howard, I am so sorry about Beth O. She is a beautiful woman inside and out and I hope you can truly be the man that she loves, before it is too late and you lose her forever.

I’ve heard that on your radio show you like to express shock about how Beth O doesn’t poop that often. You don’t understand it, you see her eat, but then mysteriously (at least to you) there’s not the usual consequence of eating. I’ve heard that you’ve claimed to have gone to a doctor who couldn’t find a medical cause for why Beth doesn’t poop like healthy people do.

Howard, this is so simple that even Paris Hilton can explain it:

Paris Hilton was so terrified guards would snap a cell-phone picture of her on the toilet that she didn’t eat or drink for three days…

The New York Times reports from the future

by twit

As far as I can tell, it is still Tuesday around here, and it is hardly Wednesday enough on the east coast to be referring to it as “early morning,” yet the NYT says this:

Mr. Obama and Mrs. Clinton talked early Wednesday morning by telephone. He congratulated her…

which is hilarious on its own, but still…

morning cartoons

by twit

via Delicious Ghost

Kurt Cobain’s ashes have escaped to a better place…

by twit

Courtney, had I known you were keeping Kurt’s ashes in a pink teddy bear bag, I would have considered it a duty to get them away from you … which feels like a terrible thing to say, because the twit doesn’t like to make light of anyone’s grief. But dammit, Courtney, a pink teddy bear bag?

Via The Guardian on June 2, 2008:

Love believes a former friend is responsible for swiping Kurt’s remains, which were stored in a pink bear-shaped handbag and hidden in a wardrobe at her Hollywood home.

She now claims to be suicidal as a result of the theft:

“I can’t believe anyone would take Kurt’s ashes from me.

I find it disgusting and right now I’m suicidal. If I don’t get them back I don’t know what I’ll do.”

(example image via amazing balloons)

Although in an attempt to be more fair, it is true that as far as security precautions go, it is just about the last place one might think to look…

Praise Zul

by loadz

I was wondering the other day how cell phones worked. Didn’t realize that they all had demons inside of them that could be released when put in a microwave.

If I didn’t live on microwaved burritos I’d free the cell phone demon in my phone.

whatever could it be?

by twit

What is the latest issue causing people to rally in the streets?

What affront to civil liberty is getting them knocked out by water cannons and other fun forms of crowd control?

Stop me if you’ve heard this - Condi, KISS, Bono and ZZ Top walk into a bar

by loadz

United States Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice recently took time off from her busy schedule in Stockholm, Sweden to meet and chat with member of KISS, according to the AFP.

Simmons and the other band members — Paul Stanley, Eric Singer and Tommy Thayer — autographed for her a glossy concert photograph of them on stage and gave band T-shirts to Rice’s aides.

Rice said she had never seen KISS perform but she had been to four rock concerts in her life.

Rice took a second to pose for pics with the unmasked members of KISS, including this one where Gene Simmons is sizing Condi up for addition to his extensive collection of sexual conquests.

It’s not the first time Condi has been photographed hobnobbing with rock royalty.

Endangered Species circa 2008

by twit

The BBC reports that “uncontacted” tribes of people who aim bows and arrows at passing aircraft are in danger of having their way of life wiped out.

It’s time to come out of the closet. You know who you are.

by loadz

Apparently, a Japanese man recently found a woman living in his closet, according to Reuters.

After food kept disappearing from his kitchen, he found the woman out by catching her on a hidden camera.

Officers rushed to the house and found a 58-year-old unemployed woman hiding in an unused closet, where she had secreted a mattress and plastic drink bottles, the Asahi said. Police suspect she may have been there for several months, the paper said.

It’s eerily similar to an experience I had as a college student at Pacific Tech when my roommate Mitch found out someone was living in our closet.

I told you to go before we left the planet

by lestro

Houston, we have a problem.

Four words you don’t want to hear in space:

“The toilet is broken.”

Space is a long way to try and hold it. Try sitting on the edge of the capsule and crossing your legs.

Russian mission control told the crew — Russian Cosmonauts Sergey Volkov and Oleg Kononenko, and Garrett Reisman, a NASA astronaut, to use the toilet on the Soyuz capsule that is attached to the station as a lifeboat. But that system has very limited capacity, and so repairing the system has become an increasingly urgent issue.

“Increasingly urgent.” I like that.

I know when my toilet is busted or the water in my building is turned off for repairs, things can get a bit, um, difficult for me, but at least I am not 217 miles away from the closest toilet. Or tree.

welcome to the future

by twit

… also known as “brain-machine interface technology” or “controlling robots with your mind.”

The BBC reports on May 28, 2008:

Monkeys have been able to control robotic limbs using only their thoughts, scientists report.

The animals were able to feed themselves using prosthetic arms, which were controlled by brain activity.

could this possibly be real?

by loadz and by twit

Attention Hypochondriacs: Leprosy is Fun

by twit

So sayeth the Washington Post on May 27, 2008:

“it has been a really cool experience having a biblical disease.”

Which probably has a lot to do with the fact that in this modern age, when it comes to leprosy, “about 95 percent of people are thought to be naturally immune to it,” there’s a routine test to diagnose it and it is “effectively treatable.”

Please make a note of it.

Don’t piss off the Soviets. We’re talking to you, Mr. Spielberg

by loadz

According to Reuters, Communists in the former Soviet Union are a little pissed off about the portrayal of KGB agent Irina Spalko in the new Indiana Jones movie.

Wow, the Soviet Communist party is still around?

Apparently they’re upset about revisionist history casting the former-Soviet Union in a bad light.

“Our movie-goers are teenagers who are completely unaware of what happened in 1957,” St Peterburg Communist Party chief Sergei Malinkovich told Reuters. “They will go to the cinema and will be sure that in 1957 we made trouble for the United States and almost started a nuclear war.”

Yeah, because that didn’t happen until 1962.

The best part is that they unpacked the old communist-y lingo to deride the acting of both Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett (who is actually Australian):

“Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett (are) second-rate actors, serving as the running dogs of the CIA. We need to deprive these people of the right of entering the country,” said another party member, Andrei Gindos.