Kid delivers LSD-laced cookies to cops. Actually, nevermind, the cops were just trippin’

by twit

When I first saw the article about the teenager accused of going to several police stations in Texas and delivering batches of cookies that smelled like pot but were actually laced with LSD, I figured it was another illustration for the “children left behind” files, the part of the chronicle where representatives from the upcoming generation are doing things that sound completely insane yet also so jaw-droppingly stupid.

But now it turns out that the allegations were actually the product of overactive imaginations of law enforcement officials (and their preliminary drug tests), and the charges have been dropped.  What we actually have here is an episode of the “romper room,”  featuring children of all ages left far, far behind:

On July 8, 2008, the Associated Press first reported:

FORT WORTH, Texas (AP) — A teenager is suspected of delivering baskets of drug-laced treats to about a dozen police departments in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, according to police who charged him Tuesday with LSD possession. At least three officers have gotten sick.

The 18-year-old man was arrested after taking cookies to the Lake Worth police station, said Brett McGuire, the suburb’s police chief. Officers there had been tipped off that someone was falsely claiming to deliver treats on behalf of Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

“Our officers took a good whiff and thought they smelled like marijuana,” McGuire said, adding that preliminary tests instead detected traces of LSD.

Christian Phillips was taken into custody and later charged with possession of the powerful hallucinogen, although the charge may be changed, McGuire said.

The suspect denied trying to contaminate the goodies or harm anyone and said one of his friends might have been smoking pot while Phillips was baking, McGuire said.

The suspect is not affiliated with MADD, the chief said.

which is what I had cut and pasted after I first read the story. Much of this clip has been scrubbed from the link where the article first appeared.

signs of the times

by twit

this is up on drudge:

LES MISERABLES:

Man in Wheelchair Robbed Bank…

…Man Accused of Stealing Pizza Pans

Wife, husband battle over hot dogs…

…mother and son arrested for stealing food

so i sent this in:

Man assaults sister over butter dispute

A 67-year-old man apparently punched his sister in the shoulder Thursday after he accused her of stealing butter from their mother, the Seattle police reported.

Feb 28, 1997 will forever be “Stained Blue Dress Day”

by twit

thank you, ABC News.

Some news outlets are complaining that the recent release of Hillary Clinton’s public schedules as First Lady don’t offer much information due to all of the redactions and “heavy deletions” in the documents that have been produced. Perhaps they just weren’t looking hard enough…

ABC News reports: “Hillary Was In White House on ‘Stained Blue Dress’ Day“

pterodactyl causes accident

by loadz

Man blames car wreck on prehistoric winged reptile

[A different picture was originally posted then changed to a "prettier" one by the Twit, but then The Kiwi instructed that no such edits be made, and now the Twit can't find the original picture and thinks this one, found by Lestro, is funnier]

The original pic:

mmm… delicious

by twit

Huckabee Fried Squirrels

Huckabee spoke to MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough from Columbia, SC, saying enthusiastically, “South Carolina’s a great place for me. I mean, I know how to eat grits and speak the language. We even know how to talk about eating fried squirrel and stuff like that, so we’re on the same wavelength.”

“Mika, I bet you never did this,” Huckabee went on, addressing Mika Brzezinski. “When I was in college, we used to take a popcorn popper, because that was the only thing they would let us use in the dorm, and we would fry squirrels in a popcorn popper in the dorm room.”