Have fun in prison, Akon!

by twit

Based only on this picture and what I remember from the “I’m So Lonely” song, I’m surprised that it took this long to figure out that Akon is a shit-talking fraud, and not the hardened thug he has claimed to be.

The Smoking Gun reports on April 16, 2008:

Akon’s ad nauseum claims about his criminal career and resulting prison time have been, to an overwhelming extent, exaggerated, embellished, or wholly fabricated, an investigation by The Smoking Gun has revealed.

Police, court, and corrections records reveal that the entertainer has created a fictionalized backstory that serves as the narrative anchor for his recorded tales of isolation, violence, woe, and regret.

Akon has overdubbed his biography with the kind of grit and menace that he apparently believes music consumers desire from their hip-hop stars.

While the performer’s rap sheet does include a half-dozen arrests, Akon has only been convicted of one felony, for gun possession. That 1998 New Jersey case ended with a guilty plea, for which the singer was sentenced to three years probation.

Another 1998 bust, this one in suburban Atlanta, has been seized upon by Akon and transformed into the big case that purportedly sent him to prison (thanks to his snitching cohorts) for three fight-filled years. In reality, Akon was arrested for possession of a single stolen BMW and held in the DeKalb County jail for several months before prosecutors dropped all charges against him.

So there was no conviction. There was no prison term between 1999 and 2002. And he was never “facing 75 years,” as the singer claimed in one videotaped interview.

what an asshole. He doesn’t want to mislead the kids, but it is just so hard to come up with a prison horror story…

Contactmusic.com reports on June 8, 2007: AKON was pleasantly surprised by his three-year stint in a U.S. prison - because the experience wasn’t horrible or terrifying. The Lonely singer, who was jailed after he was found guilty of grand theft auto, spent much of his time behind bars planning for a pop music career and penning songs that have since become massive hits.

And, as much as he’d like to deter his young fans from following his bad example, Akon struggles to find horror stories about prison life. He says, “It definitely wasn’t what I expected. It was actually a lot more pleasant. “You hear all these horror stories. You watch (TV drama) Oz and prison movies, you see crazy stuff going on, and think, ‘Man, I never want to go there.’ “I would like to keep that image alive, because it scares people from wanting to go there.”

more from the Smoking Gun:

… With the single exception of a Washington Post reporter who wrote last March that some of the “bullet points in Akon’s biography” sounded “like the stuff of creation myth,” entertainment journalists have played right into the manipulation.

… TSG began examining Akon’s criminal record after he was arraigned last December on criminal charges stemming from an incident during a June 2007 concert at Dutchess Stadium in Fishkill, N.Y.. During that show, Akon, whose given name is Aliaune Thiam, lifted a 15-year-old boy over his head and tossed the child into the crowd. As seen on a popular YouTube video

… With the incident on tape, the singer was charged with harassment and endangering the welfare of a child. Following a December 3 court appearance, Akon was released without bail after a computer check turned up no outstanding warrants or, for that matter, any prior criminal history. This seemed peculiar considering the singer’s frequent mentions of his prison time and assorted arrests.

…

As recounted in scores of interviews since his first album, the platinum-selling “Trouble,” debuted in 2004, Akon was incarcerated for a total of four-and-a-half years, including a long stretch for his role as the “ringleader of a notorious car theft operation.”

Akon’s gang specialized in boosting Porsches, Lamborghinis, and Mercedeses, he owned four chop shops catering to “celebrities and drug dealers,” and he frequently escaped from cops in high-speed pursuits. His criminal empire collapsed, though, after underlings–who “felt like they deserved more than they were getting”–cut deals and ratted him out to law enforcement.

As a result of that betrayal, Akon spent the next three years in a Georgia prison. While inside, the 150-pound inmate “fought almost every day for two years,” in the process becoming a “champion” who prevailed over both big and small inmates because, “I knew where to hit you to knock you out, so I didn’t fear you.”

the only thing Akon seems to be a champion at is making money off this fantasy world:

He was named “Top Artist of 2007″ by Billboard and dubbed “The Last Hit-Maker” in an April 2007 Vibe cover story. His two albums combined have sold about 10 million copies worldwide, while ring tone sales have exceeded 6.5 million downloads.

perhaps it will all work out for him and he’ll face real jail time for marketing his made-up life like this. The twit’s not holding her breath, but still…